To hear or not to hear.
This message may be tricky for some women to embrace, but many of you will resonate deeply with these words of wisdom. With over 17 years of experience as a dating coach and matchmaker, my insights have been shaped by profound spiritual awakenings, practical experience, and witnessing my clients navigate and grow through the various challenges of dating.
In reality, relationships and dating dynamics are complex and multifaceted. Success in relationships depends on many factors, including individual personalities, compatibility, communication skills, shared values, and mutual respect, among others. Both men and women can pursue relationships, and the outcome is not predetermined by gender roles.
Gender Stereotypes
Many of you will think this idea perpetuates traditional gender stereotypes that assume men should be the ones pursuing and women should be passive recipients. And that these stereotypes are outdated and do not reflect the diverse and evolving nature of modern relationships. I get all of this, trust me. Here is the colossal catch that most women don’t think about. Biologically speaking, men must be motivated physically in order to reproduce. This fact tells the whole story if you can connect the dots. If a man is not motivated, he won’t get a boner (basic biology). Yeah, that’s the truth, duh. It’s your job to motivate him indirectly. If you don’t get this, you need to schedule a 1–1 session with me immediately. Another reality to consider is that he might not be interested in you because you haven’t conveyed subtle signals that you inherently understand this.
Patience
Your controlling and impatient tendencies in your love life have inadvertently hindered a man’s ability to find the motivation to lean into you at his own pace. This approach may have consistently worked against you. While we reside in a culture that often craves instant gratification, it’s crucial to resist the urge to apply this natural impulse to your dating life. Let me be clear: There is indeed a place for spontaneity. Despite your undeniable brightness and beauty, it’s entirely possible that you’ve overlooked this pattern throughout your dating journey.
Throughout your journey in dating, you must discover the art of navigating the world with grace, resilience, and a carefully considered approach. Just as you’ve honed your skills and expertise in your career, where success often demands meticulous planning and strategic thinking, the world of dating requires a similar dedication. It’s about learning to traverse the diverse landscapes of love and relationships with elegance, staying patient even when the path seems uncertain, and approaching each encounter methodically, recognizing that each connection is unique and deserves thoughtful consideration.
Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash
Reality check
Intriguingly, the accomplishments and triumphs you may have achieved in your professional life don’t always seamlessly transition to your personal life. While career success can bring fulfillment and satisfaction, it’s essential to remember that matters of the heart often follow their own set of rules, and finding harmony between these two aspects of life can be an enlightening journey of self-discovery.
Once things get kickstarted during the love dance, remember that in healthy relationships, both partners actively contribute to the connection and put effort into building something meaningful. Initiating or pursuing a relationship can be done by anyone, regardless of gender. What truly matters is finding someone who reciprocates your feelings, communicates openly, and shares similar goals and values. The reality is that relationships and dating dynamics are complex and multifaceted. In the same breath, moving away from rigid gender norms and embracing the idea that successful relationships are built on mutual understanding, respect, and equality, regardless of who initiates the pursuit, must also be practiced.
In your final reflection, remember this: You can capture his attention by taking the initiative with the first move. However, it would be a mistake to assume that you can solely dictate the course of interactions from that point onward. Such an assumption would be a misstep.
© Copyright 2023 Karla Moore. All Rights Reserved.